Social media killed the cat

Social media killed the cat but mental strength brought it back

wait, that did sound cool, I’m typing it again.

Social media killed the cat but mental strength brought it back!*

No, I don’t know what that means but it sounds cool and meaningful, so, there it is.

On to the real stuff,

I, like many other people, spend a whole lot of time on my phone.

Be it staring at messages that fear left unread on Whats-App (this is a story for another time) or, my personal favorite, digging through books on Wattpad (If you’re reading this, and you’re on Wattpad, drop your username, lets follow each other!). I used to check and rely on social media so much, it almost broke me.

Now, I needed some time to create ,so, I gave myself the right to get rid of two major factors leading to my lack of sleep, wavering concentration and social anxiety; Whats-App and Instagram.

The first few days were difficult as I found that I had withdrawal symptoms; I’d pick up my phone to pass time  and then freak out when I realized when IG wasn’t there, I felt like i needed these applications to feel whole and that’s when I realized that I was Addicted.

I was addicted to scrolling through people’s posts on Instagram and bringing myself down mentally because these were so effortlessly perfect. I was addicted to routinely opening my WhatsApp to see if anyone had sent me a message then closing it ASAP because I had no idea how to carry on that conversation (am I the only one who can’t carry on conversations with more than about 6 people at a time? It sure seems that way).

I was addicted to bringing my self-esteem levels down and listening to people criticize my personality.

After days of sulking, I accepted that only I could help myself.

I threw myself into keeping my hands and mind occupied and to grow myself as an individual.

My month-long journey of self discovery was wonderful, I saw the world through my own eyes, had conversations that mattered and I took pictures for myself without thinking of how many likes it would get me, I even started this blog! I came out stronger and happier than I’d been in a long while.

I had to re-download those applications eventually for school information and a better way of communication, and I have accepted that some people will not want to understand who I am as a person and Instagram is not a measure of a happy life. I have come to accept that these numbers don’t matter and some people’s opinions just don’t count.

Social media doesn’t control my mind, I do.

*(No cats were harmed in the thought-process of this post)

 

Has anyone else ever taken a break from social media? Why did you do it? HOW DID YOU COPE?!, sorry. What did you learn?

2. Commitment

If I had to search within myself and choose something I sincerely struggle with , it would have to be commitment.

What am I even committing to at such a young age? I’m not married, I’m not required to have a job, yada yada. I have a problem with committing to myself and my ideas.

I find myself starting different things and never actually going through with them, no matter how hard i try, i just can’t seem to finish anything. I’ve always been quite a creative person, but, way above that, i have always gotten bored with things really fast.“I put my hands in so many buckets that when it’s time to bring them out, i forget which bucket i put them in” (William, my unrequited love). I pick up new interests and drop them not too long after. It’s like a never ending cycle:

I get the idea,

start the planning process and

then move to the next thing that pops up in my head.

Now, I actually believe I can achieve anything if I could just tame my mind and focus. If I could have successfully put a full stop on most of my projects, i’d have gone pretty far now. My writing probably would’ve improved, i’d be a boss at the violin, my YouTube channel would’ve grown (Dylan O’brien would’ve noticed me…), but I just don’t do these things.

Energy. I believe you need energy to actually commit to something (School, Family, even friendships and relationships). If I just had enough energy to carry through with just some of my plans. I wake up every morning and constantly pray for energy. I see people my age, going out, doing stuff and being all energetic and I just wonder,

“Where do they get this ‘energy’ thing from? I want some of it. If it’s from a bank, i want an account with that bank. If it’s something edible, where can i get some?!”

I know, i’m young, how come i’m this tired, yeah? I’m not supposed to feed a family yet or take care of a job yet and the most important of my problems is getting good grades, why then am i so tired? Well, try having your thoughts wake you up instead of an alarm. I wake up everyday with my head full of things that i can but won’t do:

Oh yeah, i could actually take a walk today OR film a YouTube video OR clean up my room OR wash my clothes OR actually write for my blog and actually be a better person…

So, you know how the first part of getting over a problem you have is to first acknowledge that it is a problem, and you have it? Yeah, i’m accepting my problem and i’m trying to kick it’s face with this blog that i hope to commit to.

Good Morning, Good Day and Good Night.

 

1. Who am I?

All relationships start with an introduction and this is ours.

My name is Tolu (not cocoacoalr if anyone actually thought it was…). I love my tea piping hot and my coffee moderately cold which is odd, I know. I love reading books and sometimes try my hand at short stories, poetry in all forms is my jam and I can barely keep my focus on one thing for too long.

I live in Lagos, or as I like to call it “The Yellow City”. Lagos, if you don’t know is in a country called Nigeria, and Nigeria is in a continent known as Africa. I have a pet duck named Ben-Ben and a runaway cat named Mos-cow. I don’t go out much, in fact, i think i can say that i rarely leave home (getting up is just exhausting). I’m in the 3rd leg of the race after my economics degree and it gets annoying sometimes. I’m married, in my head, to quite a number of fictional characters and Dylan O’brien(sad but true).

I hope our friendship blooms as i document my life, my culture and my experiences.

Good morning, Good day and Good Night.

2020

It’s been like 3 years haha. I have drafts from 3 years ago on here and I don’t remember my line of thought from then 😂😂. Things have changed, I graduated for one, starting this new shiny job and it’s safe to say my worries have shifted from submitting assignments to catching a bus at 6am and sending mails before my boss complains about it.

Wild how time flies really. I have made friends and lost them, started relationships and jumped right out of them (lmao commitment 🙃), it has been a very eventful couple of years but i guess I am grateful I’m still here.

I wrote this February 1st but a lot has changed in the month and half since then as we all know. I still have a job, remote of course due to the pandemic at hand, and now my days are like this:

Wake Up 6:00

Do office work 9:00- 5:00

Watch Tv (an hour) 5:00-6:00

Do personal work 6:00- 9:00

More office work 9:00- whenever:00

I have gotten into the habit of panicking day in-day out about if I’m good enough at what I’m doing or not, if I’m actually supposed to be where I am right now. I bet I’m not the only one that’s anxious or just generally gloomy about the situation at hand. It has put a stop on so many things, so many plans but oh well.

 

10 people you’ll meet at university

You meet a lot of people from different walks of life at university (or college) and although everyone is different in their own little ways, some people just fit so nicely into stereotypes. Admit it, you’ve met at least one of these people since you got into school.

1. The Overachiever

   This person can be found at the library or at the lecturers office questioning the 98% they got on an assignment that every other person failed. They look down on you for attending that party last week and shake their heads at you for sleeping in.

   

2. The Under-achiever

   Total opposites of the over-achievers. Any work is too much work for them. Don’t go looking for them at 7am lectures because they can’t possibly be there.If you sit beside them in class, be strong and don’t let them lure you into falling asleep in class. You secretly envy their i-don’t-care attitude towards school.

3. The Gym-Junkies

You can’t find these ones anywhere else. Look out your window before 7 and they’re out there jogging. No matter what day you find yourself at the gym, they’ll be there. They make exercise look easy. Befriend one of these people in hopes of improving your fitness habits.

4. The Vampires

The sun hurts them, literally. Usually computer science/tech, art or architecture students. You can’t see them because they’re always holed up in their rooms, finishing projects and creating models for presentations in classes they don’t attend. They’re usually pretty smart and excellent for behind-the-scene jobs. Nobody knows who they are but know of their work.

5. The ones living on Old-glory

They include their secondary school in nearly every conversation and are constantly talking about how they topped their class up until graduation. After a conversation with them, you feel like you went to secondary school together.

6.The Professional Photographers

Very popular among the ladies and then everyone else. Sometimes, the higher they are ranked in school, the more their ego will grow. They have the too-cool-for-school look nailed perfectly. You secretly want to befriend them so you’ll have snazzy pictures of yourself.

7. The ones who are always put together

They get good grades, attend major parties, hold down a side job and their sanity. You envy them for being able to do everything flawlessly.

8. The Innocent ones

Probably never left home before, thinks swearing is pure evil and partying are going to land you in prison. (Plot twist: it’s all just a facade).

9. The party-crazy ones

Out every weekend, sometimes on weekdays. They will go out and party even if midterms are tomorrow. Aren’t afraid to start their weekend on Thursdays.

10. The Slay-Queens/Kings

They have the makeup and fashion down, usually found taking pictures of their OOTD, have a lot of followers on Instagram, their snap chat stories are always on point.

11. The squad/ Bestfriend

Your squad might not be complete in your first or second year, but, once you find this person or people, everything will fall into place. Sleepovers will be held and you’ll finally have a shoulder/shoulders to lean on. You’ll have someone or people to walk into parties, sleep in with, solve problems and face the world as a squad.

Have a nice day.

X.

4. The Inevitable

“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?”- Bob Marley

Death, it sometimes steals the best of us.

I barely knew Munachi, I’d probably only seen her a few times around campus, and the only time I ever heard of her was today.

However, she probably had people who she cared about and who cared about her. School is about starting up again and she probably already picked out her roommates and made plans for the weekends to come.

Now she’s gone.

Most of us make plans for tomorrow and the next year and have plans that run as far as 10 years, however, what gives us the assurance that we’ll wake up tomorrow? what makes us think that we won’t fall down the stairs and pass from there? what gives us the confidence that we’ll walk out the door in the morning and come back in at the end of the day?

When people die, they cease to exist, all their plans have a full stop stamped at the back of them. It’s over. It’s finished. The end. Fin.

Tomorrow isn’t sure for anyone, nothing but death is actually constant in life because no matter what, we’re all going to die someday. Do what you want to do because you aren’t really in control of how you die, but you’re in control of how you live.

You want to go on that trip? Go on it

Have doubts about starting that new project? Just start it

Talk to this new person? Do it now or never.

I don’t know anything about life after death but wouldn’t it suck royally to be stuck forever thinking of the things you would’ve done? 

 

I hope you’re at peace wherever you are Muna.

3. Summer: It’s almost over

     I think we can officially say its back to school season, you know, the weird beginning of August when it hits that summer is slowly but surely winding down to an end.

    I don’t know about you guys but the sun is starting to get really annoying, has it always been this hot? My face is breaking out left, right and center. Going out doesn’t seem so fun anymore and I’m losing track of series to binge-watch. Oh, also, the gravity of results are also beginning to fall on me and a load of other people I’m sure *shudder*. It is starting to really hit me that school resumes later this month.

Yay.

I’m not excited, can you tell? *rolls eyes then cries*

    I’ve been home for about 4 months now and it got really boring really fast. When I was at school, i had no curfew, no bedtime, nobody to approve or disapprove of where i was going to or ask me “who are you talking to at 2am in the damn morning” (except my roommates, who aren’t, you know, my mum) and most of all, nobody to question my eating habits because it’s just what we university students do, eat poorly.

    However, I also didn’t have my mum’s food, free money, and my own comfortable bed to sleep on…

    You, yes you in the black shirt, it’s time to complete your purchases on amazon or start making them, what have you been doing all this time? Listening to Harry Styles? (i honestly need to stop procrastinating and having internal monologues) because resumption will creep up on you.

    To the people who got into university this year, congratulations. To the people who didn’t get in, congratulations. In fact, congratulations to you for finishing secondary school. Everyone deserves congratulations. Congratulations everyone, no really.

I’m rambling.

On a serious note though, summer is coming to an end, try out that new hairstyle you’ve been dreaming about, go to the beach before rain starts pouring, go on that road-trip, take time to yourself because it’s about to get really hectic.

Have a nice day, or night.